WebHeader_Grove.png
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
Available On Air Stations
Support local and independent journalism by making a gift to NHPR today.
NPR Blogs

Sandwich Monday: Fish McBites

Two Fish McBites, which are not the Chicken of the Sea.
Two Fish McBites, which are not the Chicken of the Sea.

The McDonald's menu is a sacred document, like the Constitution. You can't just add things willy-nilly. It took hard work and sacrifice to add the Fourth Amendment, the McRib, and the Twenty-third Amendment, the Snack Wrap. Now, a new item called Fish McBites seeks ratification.

Miles: Fish McBites — for the bottom feeder in all of us.

Ian: I can't wait to wash this down with McDonald's new Chumrock Shake.

Mike: This is great for Catholics at Easter. Few things capture the spirit of Lent more than the words, "I'll have the Fish McBites."

The container.
/ NPR
/

Fish McBites come in a special container, which has a little slot to hold your tartar sauce, and a clever little well for your tears.

Mike: The special container makes it easy to eat while driving ... to your colon cleanse.

Eva: It is clever. An even better container would be one that doesn't open so you don't have to eat these.

Peter and Robert investigate/recoil in horror.
/ NPR
/
Peter and Robert investigate/recoil in horror.

Ian: They went with the name "Fish McBites" because the name "Cat Food" was already taken.

Miles: Fish McBites are definitive proof that things are most assuredly not better down where it's wetter, under the sea.

Peter: I threw them into a dumpster, because, you know, catch and release.

A look within.
/ NPR
/
A look within.

Ian: Just putting a "Mc" in front of something doesn't mean it's edible. That said, I'm excited for the McHorse.

Mike: Really, though. This is a great meal for people scared off by the horse meat scandal. It's a terrible meal for anyone worried about the seahorse meat scandal.

Eva: Which of the Seven McSeas of the World are these Fish McBites from?

A birds-eye view, from some birds who decided to fly over to Taco Bell instead.
/ NPR
/
A birds-eye view, from some birds who decided to fly over to Taco Bell instead.

Robert: What kind of fish are these made from? Crappie?

Peter: It says it's "Alaskan Pollock," which I thought was a guy smearing canvases with herring guts.

Miles: In the U.K., they're known as Pollock Bollocks.

[The verdict: I guess if you like the Filet-O-Fish, but can't handle the pressure of deciding how big a bite should be, you might like this.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

You make NHPR possible.

NHPR is nonprofit and independent. We rely on readers like you to support the local, national, and international coverage on this website. Your support makes this news available to everyone.

Give today. A monthly donation of $5 makes a real difference.