The New Hampshire House, often polarized and sometimes divisive, will have a chance next week to learn about civil discourse from Braver Angels, a nonprofit organization with a goal of “bridging the partisan divide.”
In a statement on a recent House Calendar, Speaker Sherman Packard encouraged all representatives and staff to attend the “Managing Difficult Conversations” training as well as a Christmas party afterward.
Doug Teschner, of West Lebanon, a former state representative who volunteers for Braver Angels and is coordinating the training, said there has been a decline in the way people treat one another, particularly in the political arena.
This will be the group’s sixth workshop in the State House since the organization first started putting them on in 2021.
Braver Angels training has even inspired lawmakers from both parties to create the Granite Bridge Legislative Alliance, which seeks to build working relationships between lawmakers with differing political views.
Based in New York, Braver Angels also works with educational organizations, faith communities, the media and other groups.
Teschner said he donates his time to Braver Angels because he feels that increasing political polarization is sending the country on the wrong path to the detriment of future generations.
“Where are we going to go in this country?” he asked. “Are we going to have another Civil War? I hope not. We’re going to have to figure out ways to talk to each other and listen to each other and engage with each other.”
One measure of U.S. political polarization is presidential job approval rating. NBC News looked at approval ratings in the spring before presidential elections.
Before the 1948 election, two-thirds of Democrats and half of Republicans approved of Harry Truman’s job performance. This is compared to 83 percent Democratic approval rating for Joe Biden before this year’s election and a 6 percent approval rating of his job performance among Republicans.
A good goal for improving civil discourse, Teschner said, should be to listen to another person’s viewpoint to boost your understanding, not just to formulate your own response.
Rep. Jennifer Rhodes of Winchester said she learned about this principle in an “Emerging Legislative Leaders” program she attended over the summer at the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia.
“One of the things I learned is to stop thinking about what you know and actually listen to what the other person is telling you, to figure out where they are trying to go,” Rhodes said.
One’s surface understanding may be incomplete, she noted, using as an example an idyllic photo of a young woman seeming to enjoy a beach vacation.
“But the reality of why she is on that vacation is that something horrible has happened and she is escaping from something until things can get worked out,” Rhodes said.
She said that as vice chair of the House Criminal Justice and Public Safety Committee she saw instances in the last legislative session when lawmakers weren’t doing a good job of listening.
“There’s a lot of times when I might not agree with what the person is presenting. But I’m still listening to what they are saying and hopefully learning something of what they are presenting about a particular piece of legislation or potential new law,” she said.
“I would like to think everybody on that committee does that, but it’s been proven that they don’t. We’ve had members get up and walk out because they don’t like what they are listening to. Well, just because you don’t like it, it doesn’t mean it is not the truth, or the reality of somebody else.”
Teschner said deeper understanding of differing viewpoints can be hard in a world where some companies and individuals profit or gain power from conflict.
“Alex Jones would be an extreme example, but there are a lot of people who are making money by pushing a certain story or by putting people against each other,” he said, referring to the online host known for conspiracy theories.
If getting people in a room together can build understanding of common values, having them interact online can do the opposite, Teschner said.
“Social media algorithms are designed to keep you online for as long as possible so you see more advertisements. They do that by stoking fear.”
Teschner has a saying for social media content: “If it screams, it streams. If it’s kind, pay no mind.”
Another factor at play in polarization is that people are less likely to join groups where they are exposed to others with differing viewpoints, he said.
Nine-term Democratic Rep. Lucy Weber said she has also seen a decline in civil discourse in the Legislature during her tenure.
“There was a certain standard of decorum and politeness that doesn’t exist anymore,” she said.
Weber sees value in the Braver Angels training, which includes scenarios for applying best practices in communication.
“I think that any tools that one has that one can use to communicate is a good thing,” Weber said.
She said an approach she has found productive is finding areas of agreement with another person before talking about areas where there are differences.
“But I think it really starts by looking at the other person as a real human being with value.”
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