The first thing Jhystoni Rivera noticed when he opened the door to his freshman dorm room at the University of New Hampshire was how small it was. Then came another realization. The closet was huge — and it was his.
Rivera, 18, didn’t have much privacy or independence growing up in Manchester. Now, he would.
Rivera helped his mom raise his three younger brothers, Jericho, 12, Jerome, 10 and Jermanuel, 8. When she was working, he stayed with them after school. Dad wasn’t in the picture, so he was a father-figure of sorts: teaching them responsibility, coaching their football teams.
Rivera did all of this while also working as a licensed nursing assistant, leading his school wrestling team, and studying at Manchester's West High School.
He decided sophomore year of high school to go to college, where he’s planning to study nursing.
“I just really needed to experience independence for a first, you know, because my whole life I've just been with all my brothers and my family all around me,” Rivera said. “And I just want to experience life by myself for a little bit.”
Rivera is the first in his family to head to college. The TRIO Scholars program at UNH, which helps first-generation and lower-income high school students prepare for college, worked with him during his years at West — where he graduated 13th in his class — and will continue meeting with him throughout college.
NHPR caught up with Rivera several times this summer as he prepared to transition from high school to college, kid to adult, Manchester to Durham. His to-do list was long: get a hair cut, shop for his dorm room, work his last shifts at the nursing home, get his ears pierced, and get a tattoo with his mom, Melbeth Cayabyab.
“So mine says 'Because of her, I will not fall,' ” Rivera said. “Hers says, 'For them, I'll risk it all.' Basically, I wanted my first tattoo to be meaningful, of course, and she's the best woman in my life. You know, like, no matter what, it's always going to be my mom. And we've been through it all.”
Also on Rivera’s to-do list was saying goodbye to his wrestling team. He predicted it would be emotional.
Leaving a legacy
The wrestling team gathered for an awards banquet in early August in Manchester West’s school library. Wrestlers and their families lined up for pizza and cookies as coach Avery Portinairi organized the trophies he’d soon hand out.
Portinairi saved the biggest for last: an MVP plaque given to just one wrestler in the state each year. It’s chosen by the state’s referees and recognizes not just talent, but also determination and leadership.
“This year's recipient has been a cornerstone of our program,” Portinairi said, clearly emotional. “This young man left a legacy that will be felt for years.”
He called Rivera to the podium and asked him what he had asked every award recipient before him: What had wrestling taught him?
Rivera took the mic and paused.
“Sorry I’m kind of choking up,” he said. Then he turned the attention back to everyone else.
“This team has really impacted my season. It wouldn’t have went any other way without everyone in this room, working hard hitting that mat every day, you know,” Rivera said. “And another thing I’ve been thinking about throughout my life: A big part of my growth has been coaches, and we really couldn't have done it without you, coach.”
When it was time for pictures, Rivera looked for his mom, who was there with his brothers. She shares his warm smile and, like him, puts people at ease right away. And like her son, she had mixed emotions as he prepared to leave Manchester for UNH.
“I was young when I had him and we basically grew up together. And watching him grow . . . it’s just amazing,” Cayabyab said. “I'm so proud of him."
Cayabyab became licensed as a nursing assistant in high school, just like her son. She abandoned plans to become a nurse when she gave birth to him at 22. Rivera said she inspired him to major in nursing. His job at the nursing home convinced him it’s the right choice.
“I like being able to help people and like connecting with the residents,” he said. “It's a very emotional, very emotional job. But I like it a lot.”
Rivera and his mom moved around Manchester for the first six years of his life. Then his brothers arrived. Jerome, who’s going into fifth grade, said Rivera is the boss.
“But a good one,” he added. Asked why they listen to him, Jerome said, “He's our older brother. He's been with us since we were babies.”
Eight days and counting
Rivera’s connection with home will change as he settles into his freshman year. He’ll be an hour away, with no car, and new responsibilities. He spent his final days in Manchester on a few special goodbyes.
Just over a week before he moved to Durham, Rivera met his cousins at his grandparents’ house in Derry for one last sleepover.
His grandparents' home is headquarters for their large and close family. As they sat around a small table in the front yard, Rivera pointed out the apple tree they planted when he was little. Now it towers over him. He has done a lot of growing up here.
“We always just hung out in the backyard. We used to set up, like, kiddy pools and go swim and, like, sprinklers,” Rivera said. “Oh my goodness.”
Emelita Cayabyab, Rivera’s grandmother, said she hopes her large family will continue to gather here long after she’s gone. Rivera agreed. He assured his grandmother that he’ll be back to watch his brothers’ football games, just like she watched his.
“She used to stand out in the rain and snow watching me play football even as a kid,” he said. “She would be screaming on the sidelines.”
Rivera laughed while recalling these memories, but it was also hitting him that he’d be leaving all this in a matter of days.
He said he was thinking about his brothers, and how his mom would manage without him.
“I don't know what's going to happen. I hope everything will be okay,” Rivera said. “They're good kids. It's just another step for them as well, another step of maturity without me here, you know.”
‘College is so much fun’
Moving day arrived in late August. Rivera volunteered to move in early so he could get settled, and help other students move in when they arrived. Rivera, his mom and her significant other rode the elevator to the sixth floor of Williamson Hall at UNH.
Everyone stood back to let him enter first.
“Whoa! This is way more closet space than I thought,” he said.
Rivera sat on his bed, and looked around in wonder.
“I wasn't feeling as good when I was packing,” he said. “But right when I got on campus, it was just like a whole, whole new feeling.”
The goodbyes with his brothers were not easy, especially with the youngest.
“It was very sad. I was sad to see my brother cry,” Rivera said. “That was horrible. But I'll be back this weekend. I'll be watching that football game, so that's good.”
I checked in with Rivera a few days later. He said he didn’t end up making it home for the game, because he didn’t have a ride.
He said in a text that he was sad about that, but ended the message with this: “College is SO much fun I can’t believe it’s real. Classes are hard but I’ll get it done.”
