Nearly one in five adults in the U.S. live with a mental illness, and many of them are parents. In her new picture book, “Mama's Days”, Enfield-based author Andi Diehn explores what it's like to live with a parent with depression through the eyes of a young girl.
The girl spins a tale of a misunderstood dragon who sometimes makes mistakes, like accidentally setting things on fire, but is also kind and generous, like when he happily shares donuts with other characters. The dragon mirrors some of the behavior the girl sees in her mother.
Andi Diehn spoke with All Things Considered host Julia Furukawa about “Mama’s Days,” and its message that parents living with mental illness may not always be perfect or entirely predictable, but they still have lots of love to give. Below is a transcript of their conversation.
Transcript
Julia Furukawa: Andi, your new children's book, "Mama's Days," is written from the perspective of a young girl whose mom is living with mental illness. Where did the inspiration for this story come from?
Andi Diehn: My dear husband of almost 24 years, he struggles with clinical depression and anxiety. And together, we've raised three really fantastic kids. But being in a family where a chronic illness is part of everyday life is not the smoothest path ever. And anyone who has been in that situation can attest to that. So it's been interesting to watch my boys grow up seeing their father sometimes not be as present as he would want to be as a dad, and maybe not being how he feels a dad should be and really struggling with that. And the result of that is my kiddos, they have a great vocabulary, for one thing, a mental health vocabulary. They know what depression is, they know what anxiety is. They know how to ask for help, when to ask for help, where to go. And they have huge reservoirs of empathy. That's been really amazing to watch grow in them. They're older now. They're all teenagers. They don't quite need me as much. And so I'm thinking about their younger lives with a parent who has depression and that really, I wanted to write about it in a storytelling way that made love as the foundation of it. It wasn't a problem-solving book.
Julia Furukawa: The girl in the book comes up with a story about a misunderstood dragon as a way to understand her mom's shifting moods. And sometimes the dragon does things like setting things on fire, and other times it's very kind and generous. So why did you decide to use the story of the dragon to illustrate the mother's depression?
Andi Diehn: I don't even remember how the dragon came onto the page, but I do know at one point he just sort of appeared in the draft as more like a companion for the little girl. Like, yes, she's nervous about him, but she is very, very curious about him and she decides that she wants to reach out and see what this dragon really is, because he does do some funky things, but he never quite seems malicious. And so maybe there's a deeper story behind the dragon. And it's her idea to invite him over for a barbecue, which is when he accidentally sets the umbrella on fire, but he's very, very sorry about that. So that's where the dragon came in, is sort of a little bit of a light to all the dark that was in the story. Because when you're writing a story about a parent with mental illness that is a little bit dark and you [need] a little bit of levity. So the dragon provided that.
Julia Furukawa: There's a line in "Mama's Days" that stood out to me. At one point, a character in the girl's story wonders, 'How do we know which dragon to trust?' What are you hoping your book can show about what trust can look like between a parent and a child when that parent is living with a mental illness?
Andi Diehn: Trust, to me, is the same sort of foundational element to a family as love is. Almost even more important, maybe. And I think what I was trying to get across with that line is if a parent is acting in ways you don't quite understand, you sort of have to fall back on the idea that this person does love you. That's sort of that's where it all begins. There's love right here. And even though today they're on the couch and they can't get off the couch, that doesn't mean they don't love you. It just means that you're going to need to get help from someone else that day.
“Mama’s Days” is available at online retailers and signed copies are available at Norwich Bookstore in Norwich, Vermont.
