Sandwich Monday: The Do-Rite Fried Chicken Doughnut Sandwich
True story: The first time we went to get this sandwich, they told us they couldn't make it because they were out of glazed doughnuts. We said we'd take it on any kind of doughnut; they said only glazed will do. When we went back to try again, there was a woman at the front of the line having the exact same discussion with them. The third time was the charm — the fattening, fattening charm.
Do-Rite Donuts just opened a new spot in Chicago where it also makes fried chicken and, if you ask, will make you a fried chicken sandwich on a doughnut. There's also some aioli on there, in case you feel you're still short on fat or vowels.
Peter: It is glazed. I am confused.
Ann: "Doughnut ----> fried chicken ----> doughnut" is both a sandwich and my average day.
Miles: Wrap this in bacon, and you win hipster breakfast bingo.
Do-Rite fries its doughnuts and its chicken in separate fryers. This is to keep the doughnuts vegetarian and to honor the old tradition in which the doughnut isn't supposed to see the chicken before the wedding.
Lorna: Chicken and doughnuts in the same place is cool, but you never want to hear anyone say, "I'd like a dozen chicken holes."
Ian: I've done trashier doughnuts, but they involved a Camaro and the front lawn of my childhood home.
Peter: You know, during a summer in which there's so much bad news, it's comforting to know that all humans will be going extinct anyway from eating sandwiches like this.
Robert: I really like a sandwich with a hole in it, so I can gaze right down at my poor life choices.
Ian: It looks like a UFO from planet Faturn.
Robert: It's a good thing they switched to glazed doughnuts. With the original recipe, the chickens kept escaping by hiding in the powdered sugar.
Peter: Are we mistaking a warning for its ingredients? Maybe it's "DO NOT."
Miles: Now, if we could persuade someone to make a bear claw sandwich with an actual bear claw in the middle ...
[The verdict: Do-Rite doughnuts are some of our favorite doughnuts, and the traditional fried chicken sandwich is great, but neither is improved by the combination. We recommend you order both, and eat them in the correct order: Doughnut (Pre-ssert), Sandwich (Meal), Doughnut (Dessert).]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
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