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Panel Questions

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Joel Kim Booster, Paula Poundstone and Maeve Higgins. And here again is your host - a man who checked this script out at his local library two weeks ago, so we have to hurry because it's overdue - Peter Sagal.



Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill gets limerickrolled (ph) in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Nobody was expecting that. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Maeve, we told everyone a few weeks ago about the great Grape Nuts shortage of the pandemic that had been finally solved. Thank you, God. But now there is another shortage. Nobody can seem to get their hands on what?

MAEVE HIGGINS: It's something like grapes, as well, because they're all put into the Grape Nuts. So, like, raisins is my answer.

SAGAL: Yes but no. I don't know how we got to raisins.


SAGAL: But it's not raisins. There is no shortage of raisins as far as I...

HIGGINS: I see you, and I'm raisin you.

SAGAL: No, no.

POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).

JOEL KIM BOOSTER: Think French fry.

HIGGINS: Oh, potatoes?

SAGAL: Not potatoes. But this is something that most people love to have with their French fries.

HIGGINS: Mayo, baby.

SAGAL: Oh, my God.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, my gosh.


SAGAL: I thought I liked you. Mayo on your French fries.

HIGGINS: The most flavorful of all of the condiments, mayonnaise.

POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Think what normal people would like to have with their French fries.

HIGGINS: Tomato sauce.

SAGAL: Tomato sauce. She calls it tomato sauce.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, my gosh.

KIM BOOSTER: She's trolling us. She's trolling us hard.

SAGAL: She really is. She really is.

HIGGINS: Isn't that the truth, though?

SAGAL: It is. Well, it's...

KIM BOOSTER: In a way.

SAGAL: Kind of.

POUNDSTONE: More sugar. Put more sugar in it.

KIM BOOSTER: You know what it's called, Maeve. Say it.

SAGAL: You're just jerking our chains.

HIGGINS: Catsup?

SAGAL: Catsup, yes. Catsup, Maeve.


HIGGINS: I'm so cute.

SAGAL: You're adorable.

POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: There is a shortage of ketchup, especially and most importantly, packets of ketchup. Nobody can find them. Restaurants can't keep up with the demand. And they haven't figured out that 90% of America's supply of ketchup packets is in that one little junk drawer.


SAGAL: It's the same drawer responsible for shortages of expired AA batteries and single chopsticks.

HIGGINS: But doesn't salsa outsell ketchup in America anyway?

SAGAL: Yes, salsa does, in fact, outsell ketchup in America.

HIGGINS: But you don't have that with chips. Or you do have that with chips, but you call it French fries.

KIM BOOSTER: They're called fries.

HIGGINS: I know (laughter).

SAGAL: Yes, you've been here for a while, Maeve. We expect more from you.

KIM BOOSTER: Learn the language or get out.

HIGGINS: I'm here to expose Joel Kim Booster's severe anti-migrant stance.


SAGAL: Paula, this week, we read about yet another casualty of the pandemic. Search and rescue teams in our Western states who work in remote areas of the country are being pushed to the breaking point by having to rescue hikers who go out into the wilderness without what?

POUNDSTONE: Without knowing what the hell they're doing.

SAGAL: Exactly right.


SAGAL: People, of course, are desperate to get outside because of the pandemic. So many of them are streaming into the wilderness areas. And while it's good they're learning to appreciate nature, it's not good that they are not learning anything else. One rescue worker in Wyoming told The New York Times about campers caught in a blizzard while wearing shorts because they did not realize that the tops of mountains get cold...

KURTIS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...And a woman who called for an emergency rescue because she was tired of hiking. Can you imagine? It's tough to have to send a whole helicopter out there when you'd much rather, say, send a bear.

POUNDSTONE: No, they should send Ally Love. And then that woman - she would be...

SAGAL: It'll motivate them right out of it. You're right.

POUNDSTONE: Just come up in a helicopter with a bullhorn and Ally Love just shouting out the bullhorn. This is going to be a win-win for all of us.

KIM BOOSTER: Throwing out Nets T-shirts.

HIGGINS: Long-sleeve Nets T-shirts.

SAGAL: So, please, if you're planning a wilderness trip, bring adequate water, clothing and the appropriate equipment to saw off whichever one of your appendages inevitably gets caught under a rock.

POUNDSTONE: All right. Can you go to the next T-shirt? Can you go to the next T-shirt? We're doing this together, lost idiot.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).


JONATHAN GROFF: (As Kristoff, singing) Now I turn around and find I am lost in the woods. North is south, right is left when you're gone. I'm the one who sees you home, but now I'm lost in the woods. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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