BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Dulce Sloan, Mo Rocca and Adam Felber. And here again is your host, a man who tries not to think about the fact that with each of these intros I read, he's a little bit older than the one before, Peter Sagal.
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thanks, Bill, I think.
ADAM FELBER: (Laughter).
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill rhyme-mages through his basement. It's our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Dulce, in one of the worst things to happen during the pandemic, The Wall Street Journal reports that some CEOs are trying to keep up their employees' morale by doing what?
DULCE SLOAN: Can I have a clue?
SAGAL: Can you have a clue? Yes. What would be your - what would be the absolute nightmare for your boss to do if you're sitting there working at home quite happily?
SLOAN: Come to my damn house.
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SAGAL: That's what they're doing.
SLOAN: That - one, that's disrespectful. I'm Southern. You don't come to nobody's house unannounced, don't you? Also, two, this is my domain. This the trailer where I pay rent. Don't you dare show up with your goofy ass.
MO ROCCA: Wait. Hold on a second. What if your boss were Stanley Tucci?
SLOAN: Listen. If it's Stanley Tucci, baby, he ain't got to come to my house. He already there.
SAGAL: Well, you're right. That's what these guys are doing. As we enter month one million of the lockdown with many people still working from home, employers are trying everything to make their staff feel motivated, including just dropping by. A guy in Austin was actually in the middle of a Zoom work meeting when the doorbell rang, and it was his boss there to give him an award. Oh, what can I do to make my employee feel happy and secure? I know. Ambush him.
SLOAN: Mail. That's what the mail is for.
SAGAL: Now, other morale-building exercises dreamed up by eager CEOs have included virtual retreats, including a virtual visit to a goat sanctuary, visits from Zoom comedians, which is truly nightmarish, and a cookout in which employees were given s'mores to make at home in front of their computers with a candle.
FELBER: Did it also include something to kill yourself with?
SAGAL: (Laughter) I know. It's like...
SLOAN: This is off.
FELBER: That's the only humane thing to do if I'm making s'mores alone (laughter).
SAGAL: I'm living the dream. I'm sitting in front of my laptop making a sad candy sandwich. This is awesome.
SLOAN: (Laughter) A s'more is a candy sandwich. Peter, you did it.
SAGAL: Moe, many of us have had trouble sleeping during the pandemic because of anxiety or whatever, but The New York Times is here to help. Their new advice is to simply pretend that you are a what?
ROCCA: It's not going to be a sheep. Simply pretend that you are a beaver inside of a hollowed-out log.
SAGAL: That's quite lovely.
ROCCA: You are - that you are the - you are the ground. You are the carne asada inside of a taquito.
ROCCA: You're in some place where you just want to be cuddled up and warm, that you...
SAGAL: You're getting there, cuddled.
ROCCA: Oh, that you're being swaddled.
SAGAL: Because you are. You're treating yourself like a...
ROCCA: Like the baby Jesus.
ROCCA: No, like an infant. Like an infant...
SAGAL: Yes, exactly.
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SAGAL: I don't know why you leapt right from the general idea of baby to specifically the baby Jesus, but that's really...
ROCCA: I mentioned the swaddling clothes.
SAGAL: That's really...
SLOAN: That's the most famous baby there is, that and the little dancing baby.
FELBER: Best baby ever.
SAGAL: That's true. That's true. The answer is, in fact, treat yourself as a baby. New parents struggling to get a newborn to sleep have long sworn by a combination of swaddling, shushing, swinging and, look, what do you want? Daddy's starting to hallucinate. Now, the Times in an article titled "Seriously Can't Sleep? Try Being An Adult Baby" (ph) recommends that if you're having trouble sleeping, you just do the same for yourself. You swaddle yourself tight with a weighted blanket or perhaps a straitjacket. And you shush yourself using a white noise machine. Rocking and sucking a pacifier might also help, you freak.
ROCCA: Like a giant safety pin that you put into, like, a cloth sort of - right?
SAGAL: Yeah. By the way, this is all true. I know this because I have a newborn. Babies - it's called the five Ss - the swaddling, shushing, scotch, season two of "Shark Tank" and if all that doesn't work, Sanax (ph).
(SOUNDBITE OF LULLABY RENDITION OF AC/DC'S "YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.