Yes, I'm driving north again, please don't yell at me. My aunt and uncle live in Billings, Montana, and they invited me to come up for a day or two. They're huge baseball fans - which is not something you'd expect from longtime residents of Montana - and they thought I should come up and see the town's new minor league ballpark. Since I haven't been to Montana yet (unless I got lost in Idaho, maybe?) I thought why not. I'll get to see you southerners soon enough, I promise.

Casper looks like a lot of fun, but here's one day where my super-timing didn't work out. I tried going to see the local baseball team, the Casper Ghosts (greatest team name ever, until there's an actual team named the Yogi Yahooies), but they were playing out of town. I thought about seeing the rodeo, but they weren't in town either. TV makes it sound like there's rodeo in Wyoming like every hour on the hour, like the parades at Disneyland.

So instead I went to the 61st Annual Casper Rock Show, which was an unexpected treat. Got a lot of cool sample rocks to take home, and it turns out the lady who helps run the show is a Franz too! I don't think we're related, but it felt like I was in the right place at the right time after all.

Now listening to: "Yesterday's Wine," Willie Nelson

(Photo by Martin LaBar (going on hiatus))

I got up way early to trek into Denver, which ended up being good and bad. Good because I got to see more sights than if I'd slept in, but bad because... well, you'll see.

Easy drive into town. Heard a good piece on Colorado Public Radio about solar energy at the Denver Airport. The Prius makes trips to the gas station a little less painful, but if anybody has some solar panels they can hook up to make it even more gas-friendly, then drop me a line, I'll even drive to your state. Or better yet, how about a Mr. Fusion, like the Doc had in Back To The Future?

Anyway, took a tour through Tiny Town, which was kind of cute, and then into Denver itself to meet up with my friends Doug and Jan, who checked Facebook enough to find me and suggest we meet at the Denver Art Museum, which had a very cool fish figure (though no headless chickens - I asked). There's a new wing on the museum, though, that's shaped with lots of curvy and angley corners and stairs and some locals say they've actually gotten dizzy going through it. I don't know if that's true or not, but I do remember looking up and then rolling down the staircase. No injuries, thankfully.

Doug and Jan decided to take me out for some food to clear my head, only they took me to a place called Casa Bonita, which is only a place to clear your head if you're, say, Dennis Hopper. Already a little confused from falling down a staircase, I watched the cliff divers and people juggling fire and got a little freaked. Then Chiquita The Angry Gorilla came out and I lost it. He beat his chest and according to eyewitness account I yelled something to the effect of "YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ENDS TONIGHT, CHIQUITA! RISE UP, PEOPLE, AND TAKE BACK YOUR CASA!" Fortunately Doug and Jan's cooler heads prevailed; they essentially shoved my head back into my refried beans and kept me quiet for the rest of the night. Then they drove me to a hotel, switched on Colorado Public Radio in my room, and wished me well. I had a dream where I'd signed up for a very complex graduate-level math course, only to say to myself "this is too hard." In the dream I stopped going to the class but decided to take the final anyway, only I hadn't studied and didn't even know where the final was being held. I had to go to the professor's office to ask when and where I could take the test for the class I didn't attend, and when I walked in the office IT WAS PROFESSOR CHIQUITA. The Angry Gorilla was going to punish me for my poor attendance! Not the easiest day - or night - that I've ever had.

But I'm feeling much better now!

Now listening to: "Dreams," The Allman Brothers Band

(Photo by M.V. Jantzen)

The hotel I've been staying at in Vernal is probably going to charge me an "aloe vera all over everything" tax, which is probably fair because the room really is covered in aloe. I put about 40 gallons of the stuff on me before going to bed, and then I got up in the night to get some water and I bumped into the wall, only I had so much aloe on that I slipped and skidded into the bathroom, covering everything in light green goo.

On the plus side, my sunburn is fading into a tan without any peeling, so I lucked out on this one. Still, I'm going to wear gloves while I drive, until the aloe dries or vanishes or whatever aloe does to stop being slippery.

I'm going to Denver by way of routes 64 and 139, which eventually meet up with Interstate 70 in Fruita, Colorado. Fruita, for those that don't know, was home to the one and only Mike The Headless Chicken. No, I'm not making this up - after losing his head to the hungry farmer, Mike decided to keep on keeping on, and lived another 18 months without a head. I wrote a paper about him in freshman year composition, which got a solid C for (surprise) being more entertaining than informative. Fruita has a statue of Mike in town, which I had to see. Too bad I wasn't here in May for the Mike Festival. Maybe next year, although now I'm hearing from the Viva Bread people that they want to set up some kind of permanent office - with permanent staff - in Washington after the election.

The only other stop I made today was at the Dinosaur Journey Museum at the Museum of Western Colorado. Dinosaurs + robots = very yes. Actually, dinosaurs + robots = robotic dinosaurs that eat each other, but that in itself is very yes.

Tomorrow in Denver. I know a few people from school who live there, but apparently they don't check Facebook and haven't written me back about getting together. Hurry up guys! While I wait for them to get in touch, I'm singing this song in honor of Mike The Headless Chicken. The best line is about after Mike met his end: "He didn’t even get a headstone/I can’t imagine why":

(Photo by Kakapo31)

Woke up really, really early because penboy, the blog commenter who suggested I come here, says the sunrises are really spectacular. (Or did he say sunsets? Ah well.) I thought the sunrise was great - seeing the sun spread over the landscape was really intense. Maybe that's why I fell asleep shortly after sunrise - it's been a pretty heavy few days, after all. I caught up on my rest and inadvertantly caught up on my sunburn, too. I'd really been trying hard not to burn, but I didn't think I'd need any suntan lotion before sunrise!

Drove back to by temporary HQ in Vernal, but not before a side trip to Dinosaur National Monument, which was a short trip since the Visitor Center is being renovated and I didn't want to spend a lot more time outside. Saw some cool fossils and was inwardly happy that I hadn't become one when I fell asleep at Flaming Gorge.

Back in Vernal I stopped at a shop to get a couple pallets full of aloe vera, when an older woman looked at my roasted self and got very confused. "How did you get here?" she asked.

"I drove," I explained. "I drove from California."

"California? But why are you here?"

"I'm on a road trip to New Hampshire."

"But why are you here?"

"Um, someone on the internet said I would like it if I visited."

This was apparently too puzzling for words, as she slowly turned away and walked face-first into a Fla-vor-ice display.

(Photo by Andrew Parrella)

What's awesome? Potatoes! The Potato Expo was totally worth the drive - saw the world's largest potato chip (which is technically a "crisp" but it sure looks like a chip to me) and other cool potato-ey stuff, and I got my free hash browns and ate them in about nine seconds.... so delicious.

After Potatoing and Expoing I got a call from one of the strategists at the Viva Bread party - "potatoes and bread are a natural alliance," he said. "If you can get them on Otis's side we might be able to swing Idaho." I left some flyers at the gift shop - I thought I saw a guy take one, but I think he actually just spilled his hashbrowns on them.

The campaign did get a local news story done about them, which is really excellent. I don't know where Channel 3 news is, but if people are putting up billboards and signs and they aren't getting covered by flying hashbrowns then things are looking up!

I'm back in Utah so I can check out the Flaming Gorge National Recreation Area tomorrow, which was suggested by a commenter on the blog. Suggestions are totally welcome - if these places to visit have anything to do with food, so much the better.

(Photo by Ed Yourdon)

I am going to make a confession - this trip will not be complete without seeing the Potato Expo and getting those free hash browns. Maybe I've gotten too used to college living, where Rule 1 is to follow any sign that leads to free food. My friend Brian and I once agreed, in return for some burgers, to drive around campus dressed as Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt - for a week. Nonetheless, I must have these hash browns, I must!

Big driving day today. I got into Blackfoot too late to go to the museum, so that'll be the first thing on tomorrow's agenda. I didn't stop at any landmarks, but I did see some incredible sights - namely a clown on a motorbike. Then another. Then another. Then like a dozen. A few miles later a biker dressed as the Roadrunner passed me, holding up a sign that said "MEEP MEEP" and showing it to each car he passed. Then a guy dressed as Wile E. Coyote motored past. (He even had on fake rocket-powered roller skates.) I was convinced I had left the real world and somehow had been reassigned to live in a Terry Gilliam movie, but then a pickup truck drove by with a sign that explained they were a roving band of performance artists and that freaking out drivers and convincing them they'd been dosed with something sinister was their brand of "art." Ok then.

Now listening to: "Clowny Clown Clown" by Crispin Glover

(Photo by sosa)

Being back with my car and my stuff makes me feel like the Jimmy Stewart character in It's a Wonderful Life. Merry Christmas, Prius! Merry Christmas, clean clothes! Merry Christmas, spare box of crackers! Merry Christmas, Rod Stewart tape I borrowed from my dad like ten years ago!

It's time to get back out on the road and just drive. I tried to work out this week's puzzle on Weekend Edition, which I almost never get right. "Think of a famous TV personality whose last name has six letters. Drop the last letter, reverse the order of the remaining five letters, and you will get the name of another famous TV personality. Who are they?" I guessed Tom Brokaw, whose last name does have six letters (better than my first guess: Carrot Top!), but I'm pretty sure there isn't a famous TV personality named Akorbw. Oh well.

I rolled into Spokane about lunchtime and decided to go to the local laser tag center, which has three stories and is pretty substantial. A family was having a birthday party there for their 10 year old and they let me play with their group - laser tag isn't much of a game when you're the only one playing, after all. Which was fun until about seven of the kids all held their guns up to me and tried to get me to jump from the third floor. I pointed out the flaws in their plan: one, that they were holding me up with laser tag "guns," and two, that there wasn't any place to jump down. Confronted by irrefutable logic, we opted for a diplomatic solution, in which I would take the stairs to the first floor and have a piece of chocolate sheet cake. Crisis averted.

Now listening to: "Vibracobra" by Polvo

(Photo by theslowlane)

"You could've been eaten by cougars!" One of my parents (I will not divulge which) is convinced that Alaska is a vast wasteland that has been overrun and conquered by a posse of oppressive cougars, and that being there, even in a friendly place like Juneau is guaranteed to end in my doom, likely with my insides being ripped out and devoured in some gruesome way. (This is actually very similar to the plot of the zombie movie I was in back in LA. I'll have to add that to my parents' Netflix queue when it comes out.) Are there even cougars in Alaska?

Hiro and I are back in Seattle after taking an early early early flight that I think had about 60 connections. I think we went from Juneau to Vancouver to Anchorage to Yellowknife to Fairbanks to Atlanta to Portland, Oregon to Seattle. At least that's what it felt like. In his freaked-out-edness, Hiro tried to hire a bush pilot to fly us back to Seattle, but eventually got us on a series of more traditional flights. I still didn't have a change of clothes, so people were standing in the aisle or sitting in the airplane restroom to not sit next to me.

Hiro headed off to his video game convention to dress up as the intergalactic leader of a swordfighting planet, but not before paying my parking fees at the airport (I thought we were just sightseeing so I parked in the Hourly lot!?!). Yeah Hiro! Now it's time to rest, recharge, and convince a certain parent that their little boy is going to make it to New Hampshire without being devoured by wildlife.

Now listening to: "Solar Sister," The Posies

(Photo by Ced)

Hiro and I were going to spend a couple days hanging out in Seattle, but we accidentally ended up in Juneau. So we drove around pretending as if we were in Seattle. So when we saw the "Space Needle" we actually saw the Harnessing of the Atom Totem Pole. We saw the Alaska Governor's Mansion which was, I guess, Bill Gates' house. And instead of the market where they throw fish, we saw the statue of Patsy Ann. You can see our analogy didn't work out, but getting accidentally stranded in Juneau has totally worked out. I love it. Hiro, on the other hand, is a little freaked because he is supposed to be dressed up as a sword-wielding alien at a booth at a video game convention in Seattle tomorrow morning and we still haven't figured out how we're getting back.

Nonetheless, we're having a great time here. Listened to KTOO-FM all morning, including a piece on Day To Day about Winnebago sales being down because of gas prices. Hiro and I rented the smallest car size at the rental car place, but they were out of everything other than SUV's so we're driving around in a tank. We also hiked one of the trails along the Mendenhall Glacier, which is where I'm going to live if I ever decide to go all "Into the Wild" and live off the land in Alaska.

In reading up on the glacier I found this informational video, Eric the Erratic. Eric is a granite boulder who more or less falls out of his familiar surroundings and gets tossed and tumbled wherever he goes until he ends up on the Mendenhall Glacier. I AM ERIC THE ERRATIC.

Now hanging out at the airport while Hiro tries to get us a flight back to Seattle. I sense another crazy caper coming on.

Now listening to: "Dayton, Ohio - 19 Something and 5" by Guided By Voices

(Photo by Tostie14)

Once when Hiro was living at my family's house he and I decided to get a pizza. We were starving, we had a coupon, it was pretty simple, right? Three hours later we're riding in the back of a pickup truck next to a 230 year old dog looking for an AutoZone outlet. Not that it wasn't fun, but a) it wasn't anything close to the simple task we'd set out to do and b) we didn't get any pizza. So, really, I should have expected that a day of driving around Seattle with Hiro would lead to me ending up in a completely different part of the continent.

The thing that I should've remembered about Hiro (and clearly didn't) is that he speaks English so well that I forget that he isn't as fluent as I think he is. When we drove to the airport after checking out the Space Needle I thought he and I were going on some kind of aerial tour of Puget Sound or something. Then an hour later I hear the pilot say something like "We should be in Barrow by 9 pm" and I got a little confused. Hiro thought it would be fun to go to the northernmost point in Alaska, so he bought us tickets. (Which he can do - he's getting paid a lot more at the video game company than I'll be making for the Viva Bread Party)

So I freaked a little and we decided to get off the plane at the first connection in Juneau, rather than proceed to Barrow. Now, most of me thinks this is a really cool sidetrack, and if I'm going to end up in some unusual place by accident, Hiro's the guy to have with me. There are just two slight flaws in this logic: first, my car is parked in the "hourly" lot at Seattle's airport. Second, I didn't bring any luggage - no extra clothes or anything. Ah well. I hope there's a good pizza joint in Juneau.

(Photo by hfabulous)