Robin Holly used to be a Manufacturing Engineer for Beebe Rubber Company in Nashua. But the company closed in January. Holly offers her thoughts in this essay
THE ROWS OF GREASY MACHINERY STAND SILENT.
THE HISSING STEAM LINES AND THE SPITS OF FREEZING RAIN AGAINST THE ROOF are
the only NOISE.
WE HAVE BEEN PREPARING TO CLOSE THIS FACTORY FOR SEVERAL WEEKS, BUT ON THE
LAST DAY IT REALLY HITS HOME.
THE PILES OF SCRAP METAL--PRODUCTIVE MACHINERY A MONTH AGO--ARE NOW WORTH
HALF A CENT A POUND IF WE'RE LUCKY.
THE CORNERS ARE SWEPT CLEAN, THE WAREHOUSE IS EMPTY.
PILES OF PAINT CANS WAIT TO BE TOSSED OUT.
OTHER FACTORIES IN OUR COMPANY ARE TAKING SOME OF THE OLD EQUIPMENT.
THE REST IS GOING TO BUYERS WHO'VE PAID A TENTH OF ITS VALUE.
THEY KNOW WE'RE IN A POOR POSITION TO BARGAIN.
A SIGN ON ONE MACHINE READS "DON'T START- NO OIL."
THE FEW REMAINING EMPLOYEES STAND IN CLUSTERS, MOURNING THE END OF THE
FACTORY.
"DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YET?" "ME NEITHER."
"GOOD LUCK, IT HAS BEEN GOOD WORKING WITH YOU."
"MAY BE WE'LL WORK TOGETHER AGAIN SOMETIME."
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW COMFORTING THE DAILY SOCIAL CONTACT IS UNTIL YOU LOSE IT.
ONE MAN TELLS ME.
"I'VE WORKED HERE FOR 25 YEARS. AND MY FATHER WORKED HERE FOR THIRTY YEARS
BEFORE ME."
FOR A GREAT MANY EMPLOYEES THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME THEY HAVE LOOKED FOR
WORK IN TWO OR THREE DECADES.
FOR ME THIS IS THE SECOND LAYOFF IN THREE YEARS.
I TRY TO BE CHEERFUL AND ENCOURAGE THE OTHERS.
WHAT RIGHT DO I HAVE TO BE WORRIED?
I'M SINGLE, HEALTHY, EDUCATED; I HAVE SOME SAVINGS.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE DAILY GRIND OF FILLING OUT JOB
APPLICATIONS, THE STRESS OF INTERVIEWS OR THE DISRUPTION OF HAVING TO MOVE
AGAIN.
I resent WATCHING HARD-EARNED VACATION time DISAPPEAR.
I dread seeing MY SOMEDAY HOUSE DOWN PAYMENT DRIBBLING OUT OF MY BANK
ACCOUNT AS I MEET ESSENTIAL BILLS WHILE LOOKING FOR WORK.
BUT COMPARED TO MY COWORKERS CONCERNED ABOUT SUPPORTING FAMILIES OR MAKING
MORTGAGE PAYMENTS, MY SITUATION SEEMS TRIVIAL.
I TELL THEM THEY CAN DO IT; THAT IN A YEAR OR TWO THEY'LL LOOK BACK AND
THINK IT WASN'T AS BAD AS IT SEEMS NOW.
I REFUSE TO USE THE PHRASE "THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON", THOUGH I HEAR IT
FROM OTHERS.
*DO* THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON?
THE OTHER SENIOR MANAGERS AND I LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER IN THE LAST MEETINGS.
WE TALK ABOUT THE DETAILS OF THE SHUTDOWN AND NOT WHAT IS ON OUR MINDS.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
WHAT COULD WE HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?
EACH OF US CAN THINK OF THINGS WE LEFT UNDONE.
ARE A HUNDRED PEOPLE FILING INTO UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICES BECAUSE we failed?
I'LL BE HERE TOMORROW.
WE HAVE TO SHIP THE LAST EQUIPMENT, TOOLS AND SUPPLIES TO SURVIVING PLANTS
IN THE MIDWEST.
BUT IN ANOTHER WEEK, I WILL ALSO LEAVE FOR THE LAST TIME AND IN A FEW WEEKS
OR MONTHS START OVER IN A NEW PLACE.
THE WRECKING COMPANY WILL COME IN AND TAKE DOWN THE WALLS OF THIS 60 YEAR
OLD FACTORY.
NEXT YEAR I WILL DRIVE BY ANOTHER MINI-MART OR FAST FOOD RESTAURANT STANDING
ATOP THE BURIED FOUNDATIONS.
And ANOTHER INVISIBLE LOCAL LANDMARK WILL HAVE BEEN BORN.
"JUST GO DOWN EAST HOLLIS STREET AND TURN RIGHT WHERE THE RUBBER FACTORY
USED TO BE."
NEXT YEAR I'LL BE ABLE TO SEE IT WASN'T AS BAD AS IT SEEMS RIGHT NOW.
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