Patricia Barren is worried about kids with parents serving in the military.
Barren, who runs the National Military Family Association’s Purple Camp program says kids face anxiety, isolation, added responsibility, living with the unknown.
30:28 if you think about the Vietnam War, most people left for a year, there was a draft, and if you went past a year, it was b/c you volunteered to go back. This is the first time ever, we’ve had the same people go back over and over again. I would say marine corp. is around their 6th deployment. And for many of the Army they are in their 3rd or 4th deployment. So the same families are experiencing this war over and over again.
Barren says Operation Purple stresses that the kids are serving their country, just like their loved ones.
They do their part...by sacrificing their parents.
DISC 1
T.17
1:27 hoisting the flag, saying the pledge
Fresh from a French toast breakfast the 70-some campers make a horseshoe around the flag pole.
It’s the last full-day of the week long session here at Camp Marshall in central Massachusetts.
13-year old Jackie Fondeau says it’s been a sweet reprieve.
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T.22
20:53 this camp is ‘hardcore forget about it.’ you don’t have to think about anything, just swim.
She explains the 40 horses, the archery, the kayaking, the drama, and the solidarity she’s felt has made the escape easy.
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10:34 It’s helped a lot of my friends. They think this is the best place ever b/c they can all relate to each other and that’s the big picture. We are all related to each other. I think it’s really helped people. b/c every time you turn around, you see people laughing and hanging out and stuff.
34 camps across the country have signed up to host an Operation Purple program for a week this summer.
Camp Marshall Director Penny Marston says the only thing that makes this week different than the rest of the camping season is the emphasis on military issues.
For example, kids were asked to come up with the top ten things about being a military kid, and the ten worst.
Despite the difference, Marston says her staff has treated the military kids just like the kids they’ll see in subsequent sessions.
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T.9
7:28 ... we decided early on, this is not a clinical environment. And the kdis are learning coping skills by taking their canoe out...And it’s working.
All week, Marston has tried to balance letting kids just be and providing a place where they can deal with their issues.
She’s seen that underneath the laughing and the loud singing is some real pain.
DISC 2
T.22
7:05 we have all these mixed up emotions about it. like, anger, happiness, sadness. You just don’t know what to do. You are in an emotional rollercoaster, you don’t know what to do.
That’s 12 year old Brianna Gonsolves.
She’s had a hard time since her stepdad left for Afghanistan.
She remembers sitting in social studies class earlier this year, watching a slide show about the daily life of soldiers.
DISC 2
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10:36...and then we were talking about it, and I started crying. I broke down.
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10:10 ...And people were like, ‘oh, suck it up. Get over it.’ and....
As Brianna starts to cry, her counselor and bunkmate wrap their arms around the sobbing 12 year old.
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T.22
12:13[she puts her head down on the table, some necklace with a photo of her stepdad knocks against the table] she sobs a bit
Wiping her eyes, she continues.
DISC 2
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13:41 they shouldn’t treat me like that. b/c they don’t know what I am going through. I have a stepdad and a dad. And my stepdad has been the dad that I’ve never had. And I miss him....and people are just like you should suck it up. I just can’t get over it, b/c like he’s my stepdad. What else am I supposed to do? Be like ‘Yay, whoopee, he’s going into the Army, he might die.’ They expect me to be like that or something? It really makes me mad! It makes me want to hurt somebody. But I always keep my emotions bottled up inside, until I explode.
Brianna says most of her friends at home just don’t understand.
12 year old Megan Hansen, who’s been listening to Brianna’s story, has her own share of trouble at home.
She says the last time her stepdad was deployed she had to look after her little brother and sister.
DISC 2
T.23
1:08...I usually took them tot the park, and to the store, and got them ice cream. And at night I would read to them, and show them pictures and tell them that it’s ok.
She had to do that, in part, because she says her mom was struggling.
DISC 2
T.23
2:18 ... last time he was deployed, my mom was crying in the bathroom, I ended up going into the bathroom and was talking to her. And like, it was so different, b/c I had never done it with her before. I had only done it with my little brother and sister. When I was talking to her, I really understood how she felt. And not just how I felt and it hurt so bad.
Megan says if it has to be done, she will again go to her mother, if she hears her crying in the bathroom.
Then there’s Ben Hancke.
His mom Laurel used to call him roll-with-the-punches-Ben.
Then his dad left for Kosovo to serve as an intelligence officer.
And he started middle school.
9:33 ... I ended up dressing him for most of the school year...you know this is a completely functional kid before. He was the top of his class. I would end up taking him by the hnad, walking him to the car...shutting the door, and quick running around to drivers seat, so I could back out, before he would jump out. He was ten at this time.
Laurel laughs; she used to think that the diagnosis ‘nervous breakdown’ was some antiquated term to describe swooning anti-bellum ladies.
But then she saw how her son shook and how his body would sometimes jerk around, and she changed her mind.
21:32 ...For him having two parents at home, is him standing on two feet. You can stand on one foot for a while...but eventually he’s going to topple. And that’s what it has been like.
A psychiatrist prescribed anti-depressants.
Ben, she says, slowly became functional, but still struggled with group situations.
She remembers driving Ben to camp- hoping.
Seven days passed.
She got his first letter.
28:09 Things are pretty cool at camp. And now I have a profound love of horseback riding and kayaking. I have a date for tonight’s dance. And she’s really nice. And I can’t wait for it. I took tons of beautiful pictures in my kayak, water lilies and a few amazing landscapes. I love photography. I am also greatly improved in my shooting, having gotten ten shots speckled around the bullseye.....
29:39 ....anyway, hope you are having a good time at home. And write back home. Your loving son and brother Ben.
Laurel was elated.
35:06 I was just delighted. I was just delighted. I felt like calling everybody I knew and saying, ‘Ben is having a great time at camp.’
The next day, his second letter arrived.
36:03 Dear Mom and Jack, got back from the dance about half an hour ago. Now I am sitting on my bunk, writing this by the light of my flashlight. In some ways, it was really weird and awkward. But in other ways it was a kind of fun I had never experienced. For the first ten minutes Victoria and I stood awkwardly about three feet away in the dim lighting they had made in the dining hall.
37:22 Once we got started, and the butterflies in my stomach settled down, it was actually amazing fun. And it felt so good. Later practically everyone got together, arms on the neck and shoulders of the people next to them, forming a circle like at church, swaying and dancing to the great song American Pie.
40:44 hope this was an interesting read. Your son, brother, Ben
Ben’s been home for a little less than a week, and she’s still not exactly what to attribute to the turnaround.
Maybe a combination of no school, the right level of medication, meeting other kids with fathers in Kosovo.
She says she is still worried about what will happen in September, when school starts.
Ben’s dad doesn’t come back until November, and she’s not sure if the camp memories are enough to carry him.
For NHPR News, I’m DG.
